We welcome you to the COSA fellowship and extend to you our support and friendship. We are a fellowship of men and women whose primary purpose is to find freedom from our sexually co-addictive/codependent behaviors, and to help those whose lives have been affected by another’s compulsive sexual behavior to achieve serenity. The only requirement for membership is to have been affected by another person’s compulsive sexual behavior.
COSA is a Twelve Step recovery program for spiritual development, no matter what our religious In COSA, we find hope whether or not there is a sexually addicted person currently in our lives. In the past, we have found that our efforts to control have failed. The consequences have left us in despair: our self-esteem, personal boundaries, and values are seriously compromised. Our health and our lives are at risk, and our identity is lost. We in COSA have realized our need to reach out for help.
In COSA, we begin to experience relief from our isolation in the safety of an anonymous gathering with others who share our stories. As we work the Twelve Steps and share our experience, strength, and hope, we grow stronger in spirit and begin to lead our lives more serenely and in deeper fulfillment, little by little, one day at a time. With perseverance and bit by bit, sanity, clarity, and our own truth begin to emerge.
COSA is an anonymous fellowship. Everything that is said in the group meetings and between members must be held in confidence. By opening up to ourselves and each other without fear of judgment, we help each other find the miracles of recovery.
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The Gifts of the COSA Program
With the Twelve suggested Steps of recovery, and the wisdom, experience, and support of the COSA group, we discover the faith and acceptance to let go of the situations we were once desperate to control, and the courage and strength to grow in matters we once avoided or denied. Gradually, the gifts multiply. As our awareness increases, so does our personal power and self-esteem. In our relationships, we learn detachment and become more fully present. In continued recovery, we live our lives in deeper joy, serenity, and fulfillment, one day at a time
Recovery
We have found that when we thoroughly work our COSA program, we receive the life-changing gifts of recovery. We begin our journey toward healing when we walk through the meeting doors. We grow as we listen, as we share, as we work Steps, and as we take service positions to help the fellowship thrive. The promises become ours as we open our hearts and minds to the Steps, tools, and principles.
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The Promises
“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling
of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”
Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous, page 83-84, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.
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Closing
As we close, please be mindful that we each express our own opinions here. Take what is useful and leave the rest. We share with you based on our own experience, strength, and hope. We try to focus on, and identify with, the feelings expressed, rather than the situations. What is said here needs to stay confidential; this is necessary for safety in our recovery. If you are new to the program, finding others that understand can be a great comfort. We hope we have shown you a special welcome at our meeting. There is not one of us here who does not remember what it felt like to attend our first meeting. Through the process of reaching out, we get to know one another. Although we are all different, we can see that the program works. There is no burden too heavy to be lifted and no sorrow too great to be healed. Support is a vital part of our recovery. This disease thrives in the darkness. We can bring it out into the light and find hope.